Research

There is something beautiful about getting older. Not everyone gets to do it. My mother’s motto regarding age was, “As long as the years keep com
ing.” She was only 49 when she passed away suddenly, not to sound depressing or morbid or anything of that nature. Actually, my mother handled aging gracefully. She embraced each birthday and celebrated like she was a kid. Birthdays are special.
On Friday I turned 39. The last of my 30’s! It’s odd because writing the number makes the age look so much older than it feels. Saying 39 doesn’t phase me but typing it out here – wow, it just looks weird. Honestly, I don’t feel older but I do feel more grounded with each year. I suppose that is getting older.
When I look back on 29 going on 30, I was very confused in life everything. Still reeling from the loss of my mother (I was 28 when she passed), I struggled with happiness. I had some guilt, a lot of pain and no real plan for my future. My relationships were suffering, my confidence was empty and I was a stranger to myself. It was more than the loss of my mother. I simply had no direction or clue.
Now that I am getting ready to exit my 30’s, life makes a whole lot more sense. I like myself quite a lot. I have a family that I am so in love with. I don’t carry the burden of guilt and while the pain of my mother’s death is always something that will be there – I have more control of that. The future is something I get excited for because now I am a mother. I get to be a part of something so much bigger than I ever imagined!
My 30’s have been an exceptional learning period. All the ups, all the downs, and all of the exciting in-betweens have prepared me for the next phase of my life.
Carl G. Jung said, “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.” Makes a whole lot of sense, if you were to ask me.

2 thoughts on “Research

  1. The older I get, the younger everyone else seems… Looking back on my own life, here I am at 49 and wondering why I ever thought my parents were "old"…realizing how young they were when I was a kid, how very young my dad was when he died at 47. You are only as old as you feel. I truly believe that. So glad we get to experience the years that really count together!

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