A girlfriend of mine is just 8 short weeks away from her due date of her son. This is her first child and even though I am a new mother myself, she has come to me with many questions and asking for loads of advice. I recall that while I was pregnant, I looked to Google and mom forums with most of my questions. It’s not that I didn’t have anyone to ask questions – I just liked having a multitude of responses, ranging from one extreme to the next. It was enough to make you crazy! That said, I love that she comes to me with questions. I feel that in the nearly ten months that I’ve had my child, I’ve learned a great deal. That and I don’t want her to make herself crazy by poking around Dr. Google. There’s a lot of scary stuff out there!
I’ve done my best to always be honest, while trying to not scare her at the same time. I have advised her to take breastfeeding and parenting classes because I found them to be helpful. I coached her on her glucose testing. I’ve warned her about some of the more uncomfortable things that we experience before and after delivery. I’ve told her how her heart will grow a million times over. I’ve told her that she will fall even deeper in love with her husband.
I would like to think that my advice has been helpful.
Today, however, something struck me. There is one piece of advice that I wish someone had given me and something that so many new mommies need to hear. I had not given her that advice yet but to me, this is the most essential thing to remember. So, during a messaging conversation where we were discussing visitors after having the baby and feeling a bit territorial, I thought this would be a good opportunity share my most important advice.
“OK, truth… You are going to have moments where you are so frustrated with yourself and with the baby and with (husband)… Being a mom is a crazy transition that is emotionally pulling. When things get to be too much, take time to breathe. Seriously. Just take some time to collect yourself and take some deep breaths. I never knew how important it was to just breathe.”