Book Review – The Toddler Survival Guide

The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed
Mike Spohr and Heather Spohr
Voyageur Press
Published August 1st 2017


Toddlers and zombies both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler’s case), and–upon entering your life–leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived.

The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brooks’s The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler (“Elmo’s Song,” mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler–or you–bursting into tears.

Chapters include: Preparing the Home for a Toddler Invasion, Communicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation. ~via Goodreads

This book would be a fun gift for any new parent or one who is about to hit the toddler stage with their little ones. It’s fun, it’s informative, and it’s sadly honest! Within the first couple of pages, I found myself nodding and chuckling along as I realize the brutally painful similarities that I am currently encountering with my little one.

Now, keep in mind this book is not meant to be completely serious, rather it is a book that offers up some real advice while poking fun at the very normal struggles that parents have with their toddlers. We are not alone! Messy hands, clumsiness, difficulty communicating, testing boundaries, and relentless demands for “The Elmo Song”… Mike Spohr and Heather Spohr have done their homework! Personally speaking, I found the section on Fur Siblings to be very relevant to things we are dealing with right now and the advice is spot on!

Also worth noting – “The Toddler Tips” throughout the book are not just for fun, there are some very useful tidbits here. Read them! Actually, do yourself a favor – read the book first for fun then read it again for some valuable advice. I am sure every parent of a toddler (or soon to be) will find something useful worth tucking away for later.

I gave The Toddler Survival Guide 4 “laugh out loud” stars!

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  • hey ma... check it out!
Seriously amazed by this kiddo... Her fascination for all things inspires me. Her love of music excites me. 🎵🎶
#momlife #toddlerlife #ukulele #kidsandmusic #musicalkids #momlifeisthebestlife #uke #musiceverywhere
  • this kiddo... her wonder and excitement, it’s pretty much the most awesome thing to witness. 💕
#momlife #momlifeisthebestlife #toddler #toddlerlife #lovethiskid #lovethislife #happymom
  • my favorite color is green.💚🌱
  • I’ve always had this thing for the praying mantis... like, a serious obsession. so, you can imagine my excitement when I happened across HUNDREDS of praying mantis nymphs and their egg sac alongside my garden. 💚 I am in absolute awe.
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  • it’s the small things...
  • nothing smells better than cooking with fresh herbs!! today we expand our little herb garden... tomorrow we explore more delightful recipes!
#gardening #herbgarden #freshherbs #freshherbsfromthegarden #cookingfromscratch #momlife #homemaker #garden #plantingseeds